Chalet chalet. so many chalet. I've got uncountable of friends birthday this month.
I should be resting! But uhm, hehheh.
I can't miss out all the fun lah!

Okay,i am going to eat my lunch now.
& prepare to go out again.
I can't stop sneezing, HAAAAAAAAAAA- CHOOOOOOOOOO.

Hospitalized a week plus ago. But i'm physically well now,i'm okay.
No worries.

So,i just finished watching Paranormal Activity with princey.
Basically,we just watched it online with earpiece on.
& i scared the shit hell of myself! :D

So we went to google-ed about it,whether it was based on a true story or not.
But sadly,its a fake one! Hahaha!
The characters in the show uses their own name,yes it is.
and it was a budget film. They had only $11,000.
The house they were using to film was the director's place.
HAHA.
I mean,i don't know if these information are true or not la.

Okay,but its still a good movie.
How did they pull the girl off the bed,make the blanket came up and stuffs...etc...
Even if its camera tricks,how the hell did they....oh damn.

But i still think everyone of you should go catch this show.
Regardless of watching it online or in the cinema.
& scare the shit out of yourselves.
^^ ENJOY.

I AM GOING TO CATCH SAW VI NOW.
Cause i can't get to sleep.
Its been days.
& i'm missing my baby alot.
Goodnight people.

When nobody understand how difficult is it to forget you exist.
When nobody understand though its only a few days but you were still mine.
When nobody understand that its not easy to forget and let you go.
& i mean,
its really no one that understands.

Only songs i could rely on to miss you.
Like only they know how i feel.

my baby you.

So many words for the broken heart
It's hard to see in a crimson love
So hard to breathe
Walk with me, and maybe
Nights of light so soon become
Wild and free I could feel the sun
Your every wish will be done
They tell me

Show me the meaning of being lonely
Is this the feeling I need to walk with
Tell me why I can't be there where you are
There's something missing in my heart

Life goes on as it never ends
Eyes of stone observe the trends
They never say forever gaze upon me
Beauty roads to an endless love (endless love)
There's no control
Are you with me now?
Your every wish will be done
They tell me

Show me the meaning of being lonely
Is this the feeling I need to walk with
Tell me why I can't be there where you are
There's something missing in my heart

There's nowhere to run
I have no place to go
Surrender my heart, body, and soul
How can it be
You're asking me
To feel the things you never show

You are missing in my heart
Tell me why I can't be there where you are

Show me the meaning of being lonely
Is this the feeling I need to walk with
Tell me why I can't be there where you are
There's something missing in my heart.

When i couldn't control the " oh so what " emotions,
& the tears that wouldn't stop.
What came into my mind was,
i've lost you.
So long that i named it forever.

Spot me behind! :D lol.
Some pictures found on FB.

I am going to bed now.
Long holiday coming this Dec.
Where should i head to this Christmas.
Can't wait to see the bros,i wanna be with the bros!
Old man says we're gonna club,IS THAT TRUE OR NOT.
CLUBS will be packed,full of people.

I missed Halloween 2009.
That's very sad.
GONNA DRESSED UP NEXT YEAR AND SEARCH FOR PEOPLE TO PARTY WITH ME!
:D

OKAY,goodnight.

p.s I hate schnauzers.

I am not at home.
I am feeling quite down,for,
i don't know why.

Goodnight.
More than an hour ago,i just came back from Changi Airport.
Tired.

I don't know what to blog about.
What should i update.

I am sick,for more than a week.
Now,i am tired.
Yawny.
Goodnight.

I miss the bros,the bros. Damn.

( Last week's butterfac pics )

Work has been tiring these days.
Wants to have fun but don't have the time.

Just back from Butterfac.
I'm super tired now.
Removing make-up.
Goodnight.

2nd post of pictures.
There's 5 in the picture. Look at 3 priceless expression. 1 blocked. & the other,always camera ready. LOL!
I think lao de looks,look more and more like a bear. Don't you think so ?! Some grizzly bear or something. Hehheh.
Super fake smile,lol.
I'm freaking blocked. Bloody camera man,whoever that was. Damn ): if not this would be a nice proper picture.
Oh,but this is quite nice. But i've got a weird face,fat face,funny one. hum.
I like this too,i look so small. HEHE.

This picture is nice. But we were forced to. But its still nice,hahahaha!





Jiahao like a fierce siol,lol!
Cousin. :D
adel,bro,marc.






Like a close only. laode,new fling ah?! HAHAHAHA.



Kaki~
Peiwei.
I SUPER DUPER UBER DOUBLE LOVE THIS PICTURE! We are all doing the same thing & Marc's face is pretty. I like that though,hur.


This drink killed laode. Surprisingly,bro & Jiahao were still alive after this.

Look at the super disgusted face.
FROWNING.
" EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW !! "
Then Jiahao took over. While the both behind snatch for the drink. Yes,stupid.
Then bro gave in to him. He still died in the end,wasted. LOL.


HAHAHAHA!
Another wasted one.
Valuable face,hor laode?! LOL.





I just,erm,jumped in. :D







He's so gonna kill me for this. DOWN,20! LOL.
" YES MDM! "
HAHAHAHA!
Boss of " Cosy "

GO GO ! LOL.


& he gave up. lol.





Marc!

Laode,you got happening with my cousin ah? LOL.


He's gonna kill me for this.



Okay, FINALLY. ALL THE PICTURES ARE UP.
Its time to upload it into FB.
Phew,now i can go to sleep.
I am feeling super unwell since ytd night.
Weird feeling in my stomach,super unwell.

Well.
Do add my new acc in FB,i closed my other one (:
Same name,same surname.
Just rmb not to tag me with any pictures even if i'm in it.
Heh. Thanks.

Goodnight! :D
Will do a proper update soon,i guess.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRO. 10/10/09's post.

Cyril(:
Orange & bro.

Bloody ass behind don't know doing what.

Jiahao.
Laode.
I saw him a few times already. But i always can't remember his name. Uhm,heh.
The gay hug.
THE SIS HUG. HAHA.
The cousins hug.

Tommie.
Don't you think tommie's pose is super gay. LOL.
Adelson the kb.
T : Why you stand so close huh?!
V : CCB. ( stood further away )
T : HUH?! NONONO, i talking about the camera man. Can't stand higher meh?!
V : -.- ( stood back with a super embarrassing face. )
SEE,i told you. BRO LOVES ME. LOL! and he admitted it. LOL.

Like a big size only. haha.

Campmates.


Kaki kaki. he owes me flower and soil. :D


CZ.





They never get tired of taking pictures. I get tired taking pictures for them. Damn.


Laode! :D Poor thing in DB now. & his super personal phone is with me. Keeping it till he's out.
Too bad,low batt. I would have check on it if its on. HAHA.
Finally. That idiot who pop out after so much pictures has been taken. Don't have to introduce right,lol.
You guys should see the next post of pictures. Look at how the brothers torture the both of us to take one retarded picture.


This is one of the " omg " picture.
I remember after taking this picture,
they turn the camera and say " like couple right?! "
MADE THE BOTH OF US SUPER EMBARRASSED.



The cake that disappear after our celebration.








I wonder whose head was that. How could he block our picture.

Super unglam picture. TELL ME,WHOSE THE BLOODY CAMERA MAN?!


This is gay. i swear.



I like tommie's smile. Haha.

Spot me. I was shock when i look back at these pictures. So i'm the only sister bro loves. LOL!
BRO WAS TOTALLY LYING ON ME LAH! He's so freaking heavy that laode hands was behind holding me. If not i would have fall,and everybody will be falling tgt with me.
& we would be the joke of the day.
I was jumping and jumping and jumping and jumping.
With different expressions.
& this was the taken expression.
I like the effect,i like the cap. Bling-y words.
Thanks marc marc.


Cyril was vomitting. Thats funny.

Here comes my cousin!
& that makes us the only two females.


I like this. :D I don't know why.

Okay. finally done after like,3 days. I still have half of the pictures waiting to be uploaded.
I have 20 over people chasing me for the pictures.
But only brother has the priority to come here to choose the pictures he wants to upload on FB.

Well,its super late now and i can't stop yawning.
Miss.mini is at my place.
Ahboy can't stop sticking to her. Can't stop smelling her backside. Can't stop humping her.
But miss.mini is super fierce,she turns to him,growling.
I can't believe i have two minies minies at my place.
You see two cute little ass running around.
Okay,i should stop.
Goodnight!

Nov 1st is going to be one of the very worst days,i guess.
Goodnight.

The smell lingers..
sniff sniff*
Goodnight.

I am so so so so so hungry.
Waiting for dinner.
I am so so so so so tired.
I am going to sleep after dinner.

My mind is in a blank.
I need cash.
I am so broke.
I haven't check in my pay yet.
Sat is bro's birthday.
& yada yada yada,alot of parties.
Oh my.

I don't care.
I just want to eat & sleep now.
Goodnight!

TAKE A CLOSE LOOK AT THIS DESIGN OF THIS SHIRT.
Pls take note i have 3 of the same kind but different designs!
Don't assume i wear the same hor! ):
Thats very sad,okay.

Oh.
& i'm gonna kill Kaki on Sat.
How come your mouth so big huh! Ass leh.
If you're reading this,be prepared. :D

Okay,goodnight (:

Every night in my dreams,i see you,i feel you.
That is how i know you,go on.

Near,far,wherever you are.
I believe that the heart does go on.

Love can touch us one time,
and last for a life time.

Love was when i loved you.
One true time i hold to.

You're safe in my heart.
& it will go on and on.



Its just a me & you thing,if you rmb.
but forget it.
Randomly,lemon just wants to watch the show and reminded me of the song.
Thats all.

I am weird.
I wanted and needed much more sleep ytd morning when i had to wake up for work.
Now i'm awake,its 7.34am and i can't sleep.

Oct'4.
Woke up at 8am,prepared & went down to Rp for imaging.
First day for Intangibond.
Good. Time flies,
the last time i remember,not long ago,
was my first imaging for Pinnacle.
Now so much has passed,
Pinnacle ended with our last filming in Sp weeks ago.
Imaging was great!
You see everyone around,new faces,old faces. lol.
Whats weird is that i'm trying to find common topics around. Haha~
Still,i can't live without Ahjie & Freddy.
Think i can only talk non-stop when they are around.
Duh.

Went off around 1 plus. Took a cab down to Outram.
I spent $20 of cab fare.
Fug.
Guess what,It's Jiao jiao's birthday!
Okay lah,Sylvester lo.
Damn,so rich,
celebrated at Re's Hotel.
The one i've been wanting to go.
Because each rooms has its different themes.
Cool? :D
Oh well,anw,had buffet,the whole party room,his relatives,the colourful chairs and stuffs..
He was grumbling,his 21st birthday ended like a kid's one.
Alphabets stick on the glasses naming,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SYLVESTER! ( and all the balloons around )
LOL,wth.
Fabian was still as irritating as ever.
but still cute and makes me laugh the whole day.
So we all rotted around from 2 till 5+.

& we all headed to Marina Sq.
Played bowling. Played pool. Played arcade.
Zh&Kl left for work.
While the rest of us went to have dinner.
I wanted Yuki Yaki,humphf.
But we went to have Hongkong cafe instead.
Terrible dinner but i was still uber full.

Wanted to watch movie,but we did not have time for it.
Meatballs~Meatballs~
So,dawn-ed.
The place was like the usual weekdays,empty.
Drink,drank,probably 1/2 drunk.
I was so high with the girls & guys.
We shout,scream and yell in dawn.
Came back home,stood around my lift area & i puke.
Whao.
Drag my feet home.
BAM!
and i slept like a log.
I've got work the next day leh.
Wth.

Okay,
random Oct'4 post.
I just thought it was a long day for me.
Should be blogged.
Oh,i'm yawning again.
I should go back to sleep.
Its 7.58am now.
A little while would do.

Who knows.

In bangkok.
Random post.
So lazy to upload pictures.

Goodnight.
Its so late.

Cousin's wedding night.
Movie with Ahjie & Fred night.

I cut my hair!
when i was in Bkk.
Lemon did the cutting. Cool right?!
In Bkk's saloon. Haha!

Okay,nothing much to update.
Night.

& p.s , I actually hate Mooncake Festival alot.
It reminds me stuffs i don't want to and it hurts.
No more Mt.Faber,candles & lanterns.

The only true love is love at first sight;second sight dispels it.

Why can't i seem to get enough sleep.

I just feel like sleeping,sleeping and continue sleeping.

Yawn.

& so i got bite by an assie on my palm ytd.

which hurts,alot.

I can see the hole,the hole,the hole. cool.

& my god,its a little swollen now.

Poor baby thumb,can't move freely.

Damn sparky,damn.

I still have to head to my cousin's wedding later.

I don't know what to wear.

I am lazy to bathe because i have to lift my hand up in order not to let the wound touch water.

Yawn.

Have to use strength even when i'm enjoying my bathing time.

I'm back.

I shopped alot.

My house is in a mess,with the clothes,shoes & all sorts of stuffs.

I spent... opps.

Saving so much for Nov.

Bye. I am so tired.

bye.

_|_

Did anyone told you,

I am going off this friday.

I am coming back and i'm gonna get LG GD900 crystal.

Then i've got my cousin's wedding on 26th.

Save up for short trips after that.

& prepare my tw trip on Dec.

I am so poor.

But i am still trying my best to save. LOL.

Went to Liang Court to have Tampopo.

Ordered too much,and now i'm still feeling super full.

Tmr will be last day of work.

Not that i quit lah,on leave on leave:D

Okay,i am going to bed now.

Too full and i'm super tired.

Yawn,goodnight.

I want to see Judy & co soon. humphf.

I want to see Fred soon so i can play with his botak head.

I want to see Candy soon so that i can screw her up for not accompanying us for 2 times.

I want to see Ahjie soon so i can force her to eat potatos and eggs...etc...

Aiya,i want to see everybody soon lah.

Tired lah,goodnight,lol.

I am dumb.

I feel like,Chen xin yi.

Trying my very very best,to throw everything behind.

Oh.

& guess what.

Sean reminded me by talking about Ahjie & Fred.

Well,when i got to know they are tgt.

I'm actually very disappointed and angry with myself.

But happy for them lah.

I've not taken out enough time to go read each and everyone's blog.

Not taken enough time out to meet them.

Not taken enough time out to meet anyone.

Its like i've thrown everything away.

Standard things every week,

work,mahjong once in a while,dawn, home.

Then when i take out a little time to read some blog.

I've got to catch up many posts and realise they are going on very well.

Which is a good thing but i wished i could be like this too though.

I don't know. 

Too much for me to elaborate lah.

I'm tired and i need to sleep. 

I need to continue dreaming.

Seems like dreaming is much better.

I don't gain anything from it,

but still i can feel pain and at times,happy.

Goodnight.

I've got to feel happy.

Stay positive.

SO! SEE FRED & AHJIE. i uploaded the pictures. 

Tsk,don't anyone dare to say me again. Lol!

Okay. So i just came back from work.

Feeling super tired,hungry and dirty. Hehe.

Can't wait for next Thurs.

LAN MEI ~~

Okay,sorry. Back to my subject.

Lol. Just saw the LAN MEI~~ advert.

Damn cute.

I don't know what to blog alr.

I remembered this morning leh,forget it.

When i rmb,i'll update again.

CAN'T CONCENTRATE NOW LAH. lol.

OMG. FUCK.
HOW COME AHJIE & FRED IS TGT AND I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING AT ALL?!
AM I RETARDED?!
HEY RETARDS!!!! I'M YOUR LIKE SO GOOD FRIEND LAH.!
HOW COME THE BOTH OF YOU KEEP IT FROM ME.

ITS OKAY. YOU'RE BOTH IN MY LIVING ROOM NOW.
I'M SO GOING TO KILL YOU BOTH LATER.
OMG.
I'M SO GOING TO CRY FOR YOU BOTH.

CONGRATULATIONS HONEY BABIES.
CONGRATULATIONS! :D

& for all i know,i've lost my life too.

So that i've been working,staying home and eating.
Makes me alot alot fatter.
Been wanting to go out alot these days.
But i don't know where to go.

Really really want to go overseas.
& i hear Bangkok calling out for me.
Wanted to head to Japan with Judy&co.
But no more tickets.
Which is a super sad news.
But its okay.
J says they are going to head to Tw and Hk beginning of next year.

Anw. I'm planning much of my off days with my honey pies.
Haven't seen alot alot of them for weeks and months.
Hope to see Can,Fred & Ahjie tmr night.
But Fred haven't confirm with me yet. ):
Gonna see WZ and rest super soon,i guess.
Come on come on.
Need some spices,sugar and all sorts of things in my life.

Yawn,okay.
Work tmr. Gotta sleep.
Quite tired though.
Goodnight.

okay. 

I am going for steamboat soon! SUPER HUNGRY LAH!

rush rush! 

BYE!

I MISS ANGELA DAJIE! ):

& so,i was at XE's chalet from Mon. 

Had extremely much fun!

Pajamas party on monday night,

you see everybody wearing pajamas bbq-ing,drinking,playing...etc.

Oh,you even see cake,whip cream and cans of beer flying around.

AND WATER BALLOONS. Lol! 

But most of us drop dead by 2am.

Woke up at 12pm on tues noon.

Washed up and stuffs,

then we went to have our breakfast.

Back to the chalet,rest.

& we went swimming! 

Da yi ma was here to visit me for the past few days,

i didn't want to swim,but they say i'm anti-social ):

So i had to.. i didn't mean to... LOL.

Went back to hotel,washed up again and rested.

Then we went for dinner with kingsly and family.

Movie after that. Watched Orphan,

rated 4.5/5. Its super good lah! 

Oh,actually. before movie,we went ntuc to get some stuffs for midnight bbq-ing.

and i shopped a little. hehehe. bought some tees and a new slippers. ITS SUPER UBER NICE.

Okay,and we walked back to the chalet after everything.

I went to bed by 1am plus.

Woke up on wed morning and rushed to work.

Though it only takes 10 mins. hehe.

Back home after work. 

Not working today though,

but still,i'm home.

Suppose to pray for the 7th month but daddy says my da yi ma is still here and i can't pray.

Now i took off for nothing.

But its nice to rest.

I'm off to apply mask after blogging with lemony.

Okay,goodbye.

I'll blog later with pictures from chalet.

Surprise.

I love you! (:

Other than you talk too much each time we watch any show. -.-

This is my first post,after so long.
But updating with a extremely bad mood.

First,
bitches and bastards.
Fuck you.
For your info P & De,
you guys are just part of my life,past.
You guys never got to know me.
So don't judge me.
P's been spoiling my little young reputation since one random day.
Nothing has ever happen between us,so shut your fucking mouth up.
D's been judging me since one random day,
you started it all,and ended it like a child.
So you don't deserve to say anything.
We don't communicate,at all.
I detest you people like insects.
Seeing you people every week makes me puke without drinking.
& that random Sk guy.
Seriously,i don't even know who are you.
Until,last few weeks i met you.
You disgust me.
Sadly,you know too much about me,
again,without knowing me.
& you're judging me. GOOD.
Such an asshole.
So guess what.
These assholes are all friends(:

Yes.
i don't worth anything.
I am too complicated and smart.
While others are simple minded and dumb.
To whoever eyes.
Yes.
Whatever i do,
where ever i want to start anew again from,
pulls me down.
You people just smack me down at the wrong time.

I am not ready for anything,anyone.
So come on,
Judge me,judge my life,judge every single fucking thing about me.
Do whatever you people can,go on.
This is me,can you accept it?
Maybe i've been right from the beginning,
i shouldn't start from the people who've known me for a long time,without understanding me.
They don't understand me,not easy at all.
Because its difficult to trust again.

FUCK YOU IDIOTS BECAUSE WHAT STUCKS IN YOUR DUMB MINDS ARE OTHERS PAST.
How about you people?
Pretty innocent past huh?
I shut up,because i feel i should.
You people talk too much because its all yourselves you think about.
Go think about it.

So,can anyone understand why i am leaving now?
I didn't blogged about it,
but,i'm leaving.
& you guys just make me feel my decision is right.
Much right after everything.
Aus might be the perfect place i can ever start again,
without anyone knowing me.
At least,no one would hurt me with their "simple" conversation.

I am too young,too young to take any of this.
I have feelings too,isn't it?
Now i feel like leaving,right now.
So everyone could just shut up.
We're all taking things for granted..
My nightmares just hit me,
as soon as the min,i stepped into outram.
Knowing these people,knowing who they are.
Letting them know who i am.
5 years ago,thought they were the great friends that would be there,always.
Friends. _|_

I don't know what is this.
Can i blog or not?
Not i don't want to upload pictures,
but blogger is making fun of me.
I'm just trying this out,
it writes " Preview ".
WHAT IS THIS?!

I spent my off day today happily.
Super tired,haven't been getting enough sleep but i spent my day happily.
My happiest moments are always with them.
Goodnight. YAWN.

P.s,
Darling,take care.
No more drinking,pls.

Drinking makes one forget what he/she is suppose to rmb,
but reminds one of what he/she is suppose to forget.

I'm sooooooooooooo tired.
I'm suppose to stay home today.
Rejected all friend requests to go out,
except for one royal lemon.
Dawn again.
Fun,though some times i tend to rot alone there,
but fun. with fun people around.

Goodnight.
I am gonna be so tired at work tmr.
Screw myself.

The world is a tragedy to those who feel,
but a comedy to those who think.

Work today at Srg.
I've been eating,eating & eating.
My god. I need to stop.

Okay,i'm super tired already.
Goodnight.

Someone has been missing for the whole day,missing.
TSK.

HARRY POTTER TMR! :D
GOOD,movie time.

I wanted to see if i can post pictures.
Wtf. I randomly chose a stupid looking one and uploaded it.
Now i can't bare to delete. LOL.

Met .. for breakfast today at Tb.
So weird. We talked about random stuffs. -.-
Asshole forced to sent me to work,
when he haven't slept for over 24hours.
Sweet. Haven't seen a guy whose willing to do that for a very long time.
I MEAN,he stays at ... and... LOL. whatever lah.
Initiated to pay for the cab fare but sadly,
Uncle said " you mei you san qian? "
I won. i paid. LOL.
He stayed at Srg for awhile,
staring at the both JRT puppies.
Then sent him off.

Okay. Breakfast made me so full for the whole day.
But i still ate my lunch & dinner.
Now i feel like a pig. ):
Pig. Pig.
Fat.

Goodnight.

好聽! (:
Watch K.O Sanguo. You'll laugh like mad.
Its super nice.

Cycled alone at Ecp on Sunday noon.
Shopped at Bugis and went to find Gf.
Had steamboat.
To her home,Dawn.
Then home.

Work today.
Surprised Angela.
Super tired.

Long day tmr.
Goodnight.

Goodnight,goodnight,goodnight.

I'll blog again when i find the purpose for me to update.
Goodnight.

There's random people viewing my blog.
I should just change to private,maybe.
Its not nice to have too many people knowing you and how you feel.
Because some don't understand and they just blame you.
Some just understand too much.
This is it,goodnight.

Now,
fuck you.
Can you read this?

I'm feverish,i have flu,cough,soar throat and aching everywhere.
H1N1? Scary.
I don't know,i haven't been to the doc and i'm super weak.

Dad just took my temperature and i'm 39.4degrees.
Cool yo,we'll see how tmr.
Being quarantine should be fun.
Alone,chalet,
i can use the time to figure my problems out!
MY GOD.
This is so cool. Lol.

Anw, bloody tears flowing aagain,fuck u tears,fuck you.
Go away.
Not at this sicky moment.
I feel lonely though.lol.

Tues is A's birthday,
i'm prepared to drink till i die.
Let me man.
I don't care,i'll pass this Pig flu to everyone.
Joking. LOL.

Well,tired though.
and today i know,
Love is unfair and humans are selfish.
We all think only about ourselves.

Okay,Goodnight,i need you to be here,
but whatever,goodnight.


pss pss,edited.
I want to delete a post,
but it can't be deleted.
Blogger is making the fun hell out of me. Thanks!

Okay,too long post. Now i feel like dying alr.
Soon.

I slept at 4.30am on friday night.
Woke up at 9am and went for work.
Ended work at 8pm,and went for Sze Kee's birthday.
Happy 21st Birthday Sweety! I hope you enjoyed.
Party ended at 11+pm.
Went to some Yishun shopping centre to watch Transformers.
The guys think its confusing and boring,
instead, the girls enjoyed it.
I like it.

Movied ended around 2.30am.
K fetched us back to Sean's area.
Alouis,Ahjie,Fred,Sean and me,
we had a super late supper.
No appetite but i just force it down.
Now i'm home,5.21am.
I'm super tired..
Goodnight.


I'm too far,too far from where you are.
If you're still trying to make a choice,
i'll make myself leave,like what i've been doing.
If you need me as much as i really want you....
we will...
you will...

I cried at work today.
For the things i've been hearing,
for the pain i couldn't take it any longer.
Does your heart aches knowing i've been hurting?

Is she already,someone to you?
Who is she?
Why her?
Why not some other stranger?

i don't want to know anything.
i know,this is too much,for me.
How can i prove the people who wants me to give up,wrong?

Alone,again,half dead.
Walking up the stairs alone.
Trying to figure out whats wrong.
Walking along that path,
wondering why am i still,alone.
Where are you?
Because this is the only time i couldn't control and i need you.
This is the only time,when i'm getting myself drunk,
wishing for you to be here.
How did i fall..
Why aren't you here..
because i'm no one.

time,time passes,
i realise there's so much more better girls around you.
and you seem to be considering.
i'm making myself walking further and further away.
you're pushing me away,are you?
because i don't want to know the fact..
because,
i don't want to hurt myself,again.

they scold me for being stupid,
foolish,
for this has been so long.
but i couldn't start a new story.
because i wouldn't even go think about wanting anyone to be next to me.
hugging me and telling me ily,kiss me to sleep,
and see you the next morning.

& this still stays in my mind,
why,how can you disappoint me once,over and over again.
because i'm no one.
you don't care. do you?

I've heard to much,
felt too much,
cried too much,
how did i promise myself not to do it again.

How did you make me stayed by my phone,
waiting for it to ring,over and over again.

How did you make me hit my heart over and over again.

But in the end,its myself i asked,
who am i to you.
who am i to ask you to be here for me.
who am i to deserve everything.
who am i to care.
i'm a friend,a friend who cares.
a friend you only come to,when there's nothing to do,
is that it?

I don't know.
Its me,my fault. I've been blamed for a year.
I've been screwed up nearly everyday for being an idiot.
Because they tell me,
this is impossible.
How could i prove them wrong,that its all worth it.

They want me to tell you things,
and if you make me stay,
it means that you want me.
if you ask me to go,
it means i mean nothing at all.
but dear,you know i'm afraid to know the truth.

For me to listen to you having A..B..C.. around you.
for me,i just want to take a step back.
I don't know how to make you stay.
Yes.I'm still reminiscing.
I should go,will you make me stay?
This is making me crazy.
I'm dumb.
You make me feel i'm dumb.

I told them,its pointless telling you anything.
Because it only adds on to your problems.
You've got so much stuffs to fiddle with.
Why should i.
But they say,
this is different from any other stuffs.
If i don't hurt you,
i'll continue hurting myself.
Yes,i would rather do that.
As simple as being,alone.
I miss you,
so much,everyday.
That i don't know what to do anymore.

How i wish to see you when i finish my job.
How i wish to see you if i get down of dad's car.
How i wish to open my door,and see you smiling at me.
But never,never will this happen.
Because you're happily leading your life.
Why should i stop you,
and make you think more.
I miss you.
I just can't take the other step.

I just can't help rejecting people over and over again.
This is stupid,
but i need you to keep me smiling.
But,for you to contact me,
its enough,isn't it?
Maybe. Probably.

Too much of this will make you crazy.
Too much of you will make me crazy.
This is too much for me.
I've been strong,strong for so long.

Do you know the way you held me along the way,
up the stairs,back to my room,
make a hot cup of milo for me,hug me to bed but i couldn't sleep because i don't want to waste a sec with you,
do you know,how much i wish time could stop..

I'm asking for too much,too much from you.
I told myself that was enough.
But i was wrong about myself.
Why does it hurt so much.

I can do it. This is nothing V.
This is just feelings,playing with your mind.
This is nothing V.
Because i've been keeping myself going.

Too much,too much words.
I'm tired.
I'm half dead.
I need to hug the toilet bowl to sleep,tonight,i guess.
Goodnight,
and i miss you,bi.

This post is too emotional for anyone.
This post is stupid,its dumb.
This post is making everybody crazy.
I'm super evil.
Goodnight.

So much so much.

Its not easy.

Goodnight.

Okay,now there is something wrong with blogger again.
As usual,with pictures.
Damn.

I don't care,i am going to bed,now.
Goodnight.

Oh,and watch 痞子英雄 from
http://sugoideas.com/drama-2009/black-white/
Super nice. I just finish all the chapters.
If you're not interested,go watch the preview first and consider.
They're starting to film a movie end of this year! :D
GOOD.
Handsome and pretty people inside.
Good acting,good scripts. NICE LAH,just watch,lol.

If i say,
if i ask,
what would your replies be?
Because i seem to know the answer,
that now i don't have the courage to do anything.

I just got back home and i got to work later on.
But whoever that was there today,got to work later on too.
I think we'll die tmr with heavy eye bags.
Damn,goodnight.
Shall blog again soon.

當你決定　你要離開我
我沒有說什麼
就當作你自由

有好幾次我都想挽留
苦求也沒有用
就當作是寂寞

因為我能明白
他的溫柔　對你是種解脫
就坦白告訴我
誰是你的最愛

其實你很愛他
對我的懲罰
說你沒有想他
是可憐我吧

我已沒有藉口
只能放手
不敢奢求
你說愛我

其實你很愛他
他很溫柔嗎
其實你很想他
就說出口吧

我已不想多說
摀住耳朵
不想再次聽到你說
你很愛他.

Its hard when you seem to understand something,
but u hear the director in your mind, says Action.
& you start acting.
The camera are the eyes of the people around you,
the scripts are written,on your own.
The ones who understand look through you,
the ones who don't,continue your script.
The show has no ending,no ending,no ending.
The director won't say Cut. The director won't stop till something comes out of it.
You just have to keep smiling,smiling & smiling.
I miss you & i love you don't seem to be the words anymore.

Cheer up,cheer up.
I can't cry.
Emotions are not allow in this show.

I'm going to have a random night.
Its been so long since i last touch Mahjong.
& i'm going to feel it soon.

I shall blog about who i'm playing with,
when the game is done:D

Tmr will be a long day,i guess.
Tiring.

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo. ):
Did i listen wrong on 95FM or what?!
I can't find any Michael Learns To Rock concert.
Then what isit that is on 95.FM
Damn lah.
Who would be that kind soul to check for me?
Because i'm super tired alr,and i have work tmr.

I'm listening to Careless Whisper now.
Nice song,can let me sleep in peace. :D

I wanna see you,can i?
Its been days.
But its nothing,isn't it?
I've experienced months not seeing you,at all.

Fate-less. -.-

V wants to go to Michael Learns To Rock concert.
Damn.
I shall go check the pricing now.
& get some random people to go with me.
Anyone,interested? ):

& the King Of Pop has passed away.
Michael Jackson.
Super shocking and sad news.
Sigh.

Oh,and go watch the show,Dream Lover. (1994)
Go download online or something. LOL.
& GREASE!
GREASE.
You better shape up~~ cause i need a man~~
and my heart is set on you~~
LOL. i got the dvd though.
Find some time to watch it soon!
Miss the songs man.

Okay,goodnight.

I've written in our book too.
Will you see it?

I'm irritating.
& i love to irritate people.

I love chilling yo(:
Its a inside joke lah.
We see goldfishes inside. HAHAHA.

Work today.
As usual like the last few days,
something on mind.

I don't know,
because now i feel like an idiot.

Whatever.
Anw,life has always been like this.
lol.

oh,and a bloody idiot stepped and bite on me today.
for no reasons. I nearly killed him.
lol.

Okay,whatever. Goodnight.
Listen to the song,
Baby can i hold you tonight.
By Ronan Keating.


If i were to told you,
i gotta go,i have to leave,i will leave.
Will you hold me and make me stay?
Will you tell me even if you're unsure of yourself?
XE says i should say,
so if you really want me,
you would make me stay.
& if you don't...
Don't. No.
I prefer lying to myself.

Baby,if i told you the right words,at the right time,
you'll be mine.
words,words don't come easily.

my baby boy is sick.
i don't know what to do.
Should i bring him to a vet,but vet are liars.
They cheat.
I haven't seen JJ for a week or two.
I haven't seen this little girl for quite some time too.
She's super cute and a very good girl.
I wonder....
I want to make her ahboy's wife!
Nicky is still here with us.
& i love her yo,
i always hugged her as and when i like.
She loves jumping on me when she sees me. -.-
She loves milk and cheese sticks,she can't resist them.
She would say please ( really,she knows how to ) for the sticks.

Work today.
Thinking bout the long week ahead is super tiring.
Looking at my phone is worst,
its not ringing and the feeling sucks.

I thought it would ring after work ends like the past few days,
but shit,i love lying to myself.
:D

I went to the doctor today.
To take a look at my disgusting legs.
alot of random stuffs growing on it since sunday.
I cannot wait for them to be gone.
i want my beautiful,un-scarred legs back,lol.

I need toner,
i need concealer,
i need foundation,
i need loose powder,
i need clothes,
i need money and i can have everything above,right away.
I can't wait for pay to come.
Come come~

& i feel disgusted when i see the pimples and fats on me.
I just feel like dying.
I don't want to eat,
but food around me loves seducing me.
& i can't resist the temptation. LOL.
whatever,i really don't want to eat. ):

I'm super crazy about this song these days.
Best of me,daniel powter.
NICE. Meaningful.

Okay,i am going to bed.
Yawn.
Bless me that i stay at Srg tmr. Hahahahaha!
Goodnight.

Oh ya,i have retarded young girls outside the shop sniffing glue.
Retarded or what? Dumb?
Come on man,wtf. Do it else where or when the sky is dark lah.
Damn stupid-.-

You know i'm hoping you'll sing along,
though its not your favorite song.
& i hate the thought of finally being erased.
I was made the wrong way,
won't you do me the right way?
I don't feel strong.